Day 56: Anniversary Fun!

Allison and I got married three years ago today. Around 7pm as we were rushing back from a quick meal in the hospital cafeteria to try to console our very distraught 8-week-old daughter, Allison joked that this wasn't the way she had ever envisioned spending our anniversary.

The good news is that in the big picture everything is really, really good. Viv is almost off of morphine. Her lungs and heart are in better shape than we ever hoped they'd be at this stage, to the point that we don't worry about them too much anymore. Last night Viv took 46(!) mls of breast milk from the bottle during one of her feeds and today Allison locked in our pediatrician-to-be.

We've got other things to be thankful for as well. Our first three years of marriage have been awesome, and despite facing some pretty significant challenges we are more connected and in love than ever. We have wonderful friends and family, and this past year has given us a great appreciation for how important that is. We have a great employer that has worked with and supported us through everything, something not terribly common among our compatriots at the Ronald McDonald House and in the NICU.

So we've got a lot going for us and we recognize that. Today was rough; however, and we're tired of being here and having to do stuff like this for hours in an effort to keep our daughter from spiraling out of control:

Viv has issues with gas, reflux and morphine withdrawal. The combination makes her uncomfortable and occasionally inconsolable. We are working hard to get her off of the morphine and one of the things that usually works is lifting her straight up and down. You can see from the video what happens when we try a different, less exhausting position.

That was our evening from about 5:00 until we left the hospital a little after 9:00. Allison and the nurse held down the fort when she was fussy/crying while I was at work. Allison estimates that she cried, fussed, or screamed for at least 9 of the 12 hours we were at the hospital today. The good news is that we were generally able to console her even though it took a lot of hard work. Viv finally settled down before we left and didn't end up needing a rescue. If she makes it through the night without one she'll be in the home stretch - her last rescue was at 4pm yesterday and they say it takes about 48 hours for morphine to be out of your system. Even if she does end up needing a rescue it will probably be her last one, given how close she got this time. The end can't come soon enough for us; it's unbearable to see her like this.

So all in all things are going extremely well for us here, in spite of having an exhausting and less than perfect day.